When your game plan falls apart

I recently went to watch a rugby match in a local county league. The match had significance for a number of reasons:

•  it would potentially secure promotion for one of the teams
• I knew a couple of the guys playing in the match
• it was the first time in years I had watched minor league sport

The team I went to watch won the match and were promoted. However, as a spectacle, it was poor in quality and certainly wasn't a great advert for the game. Despite their clear technical and physical superiority, the promotion seekers somehow lost their focus. They spent large parts of the game commenting on the demerits of the referee and complaining. Once they had lost focus, their standards started to slide. The rapidly deteriorating quality of their decision making, made their opponents seem more competent. This boosted opposition confidence, which compounded the title chasers  problems and led to handling errors and mistakes. In the end, the team were arguing amongst themselves. Despite the scoreline, they were behaving like losers.

Now, you could rightly argue "they won". But for me, this game became an illustration of the importance of focusing on the right things and, doing those "right things" right. Despite the win, it was a shambolic game that could have been so much better. In short, it wasn't a very good advert for the game and had the potential to dissuade the neutral from engaging with the sport.  How often do we allow our standards to slip and descend into a caricature of what we should be? How do others perceive the faith we profess based on what they see of us?

As they lost focus, the volume of handling errors and poor decision making increased alarmingly. When we lose sight of the main thing, we begin to bring into sight things that either don't matter, are peripheral or are simply wrong.

Despite the team being capable of blowing the opposition away, the match started to slip away from them.  However, there was a pivotal moment that altered the outcome. The game needed someone to refocus. Someone had to take it back by the scruff of the neck. Someone had to ignore the crowd decrying every refereeing decision. Someone had to get the team playing the right game in the right areas of the field. Just as the game was about to descend into a farce, one player took things into his own hands and stepped up to take responsibility. His intervention made the difference. He refocused and changed the outcome of the game. In the end, the team ran out comfortable winners, but, it was a poor game and one that deserves to be forgotten.

I'm sure there are times we have just scraped through or have felt our approach has been poor. It's worth analysing what goes on when we take our eyes of the main thing. What causes us to shift focus? Offence? Decisions going against us? Jibes from the sidelines, even from people who are supposed to be supporting us? The intervention of other people into "our space"? Things not going to our exact game plan? We can be so easily distracted And we've seen what loss of focus can do.

At those times, its worth remembering that we can refocus.  The bible has some great advice: Run with perseverance the course marked out for you, keeping your eyes focused on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for joy set before him, endured.. In other words; if we have decided to be a follower, a disciple, one who runs after Jesus the trailblazer of our faith, we need to keep our eyes firmly fixed on him as our focus. Science has belatedly discovered that what we focus our minds on has a strong physiological impact.  The object of our focus impacts the neural pathways in our brains and actually influences our motor functioning ability. Putting it a different way, if we focus on the wrong things, then our game will fall apart! Conversely, focusing on the right thing and following the right lead...

The Front Row Union

In which sport can you call someone a hooker without them taking offence? In which sport can you describe a man as being a loose head or a tight head? In which other sport does the weight and force of momentum generated by 16 men travel through the body and shoulders of 6 men locked together head to head?

In what has euphemistically been called the Front Row Union, prop forwards and hookers (the numbers 1, 2 and 3 in a rugby union team) are assigned to a unique band of men, who's task in life is to bring stability, strength and structure to set plays (scrummaging and lineouts) and who are expected to display courage, commitment and contact in open play (rucks, mauls, tackling).

Some consider the union to be a self-preservation society. A protective group for those who have been known to stray on the right side of the law occasionally. A safe haven for those practising the dark arts of worming, twisting, wheeling and boring, alongside the more conventional requirements of engaging, binding and driving. Some say the "union" is merely the creation of those who cannot comprehend these men mountains - weaker souls, who consign the front row to a corner of the training ground far from the self declared fleet of foot, who wear clean shorts and un-muddied jerseys. But with nick names like Raging Bull and the Beast who amongst us would argue a point?

Ask a cartoonist to draw a picture of a rugby player and almost without fail, they will sketch out a thick set, Neanderthal looking specimen. Said Neanderthal would be sporting mishapen ears and/or nose, possibly accompanied by facial scars and invariably a large overhanging stomach. Away from the enlightened, perception is king. In previous decades, in which there was a healthy ignorance of the techniques employed by the members of the front row union, a young player would often be consigned to the front row if his shape looked odd alongside those who could pass out of both hands or sidestep. You became a prop if you were on the slightly large side and slow.  You were a hooker if you were half decent at throwing in straight or if there were too many flankers.

However, with rule changes that have been introduced to make the scrum a place of relative safety and that have for many years permitted the lifting of lineout jumpers - the shape and pace of the modern front row forward has evolved, far from the cartoonists image. In the modern game, front row forwards have to be athletes, whose strength and stamina are unquestionable and who provide both the stability to secure possession and the prowess to regain it.

If the old adage is true: forwards win games and the backs decide by how many, then to allow the free flow of play, you must have possession. So, regardless of the decade and arguments about the greatest sides ever assembled - the requirement for front row forwards is undeniable.As long as there are scrums, rucks, mauls, lineouts - in fact rugby - who wouldn't want men of strength, courage, physicality and technical ability on their side?

The bible records a battle involving an Israeli army. The account points out that the ageing spiritual and political leader, chief justice and strategist Moses,  had set out the plan for the battle. Not unlike a tactical game plan. To support the effort on the ground, he was to keep his arms raised, with his staff held high - as a symbol, illustrating the victory that would come. The fighting was intense. The battle wore on. Though he was a great leader, Moses tired physically. His arms eventual gave way to fatigue. Without the symbol to inspire them, the battle started to slip in favour of the opposition who sensed their opportunity - until, two men came alongside Moses, to physically prop up his arms and raise again the symbol for victory - evidence of Props bringing stability and strength and re-establishing the platform for victory. Needless to say the Israeli army prevailed - because of the props.

Unless we want to retreat and leave the field of play, life requires us to engage and do battle with it. Its a fact. To advance, to make a mark for good, to secure possession of what is of value to us and prevent it being snatched away by circumstance or neglect, requires commitment and courage. Sometimes life demands that we seek out the help of others or perhaps more poignantly we see the need of others.

The battle was secured by the Israeli army because strong men stood alongside leadership to provide their support and momentum. How frequently in business, in the service of others, in the church and especially in family life, is there a need for a special breed of men to step forward. Men who will  raise a hand to be counted in. Men who will provide support, strength and stability.

The front row union is not a closed shop. It is not a collection of mis-fits. It is not a secret brotherhood. It is a band of men who will stand in the front row, who are prepared to bind together and engage directly with opposition and give everything they've got for the greater good or the bigger goal. Businesses, communities, churches and families all need support to drive through positive change for the good of all - are we ready to engage? If our rugby cartoonist was to sketch out the man that I am, would I appear as a caricature or would he be compelled to sketch out strength, stability and stature?

Affirmation through testing...

As very young rugby players, we were easily impressed when our points tally read like a cricket score. Our individual points totals increased and the battle for the forward or back with most tries scored was more of a motivator than sticking to the game plan. Today, with try and losing bonus points, heavy scoring will certainly add value to respective league tallies. But the reality is, huge scores against very weak opposition, prove very little and probably tell us no more than we already were aware of. Aside from risking a few  more training ground moves, there is little to be learned from thrashing the opposition.

No matter what we may say outwardly, after a convincingly and easy win, deep down everyone wants to be tested and tested against the best. Sure no one wants to be on the end of a thrashing, but the tougher the opposition, the more seems to be drawn out of stronger players. The testing ground is also the proving ground. Can we step up a level? Have we got what it takes? It was tougher to beat the rugby teams drawn from police forces or the mining and steel communities or the armed forces, but when we won, man, it felt good!

As my own sons have got older, I have smiled to myself as I've watched them look to test themselves against "the old man". With one it was sprinting and hurdling. A test of speed. There was a time when I could keep up. It didn't last for long as it soon became apparent that he was going to excel. The best I could do was act as work out fodder, watch him fly and press the stopwatch! I actually ran a 400m hurdle race once at the same athletics meet, to prove I was in the zone - I completed the race, but from that point it on I learned the hard way, it was all about him not me!

With the other son, its all about mock rugby scrummaging technique. Getting lower than me and driving me backwards. A test of strength. Its also about throwing passes to me that land not in may hands but my midriff. Its all about finding a level. Wanting the test. Wanting to know if they can make it. Wanting to know if they have what it takes. And you know....that's ok and that's right and they should be allowed the space to do that - so long as it comes from the desire for growth and finding their place. As dads, brothers, friends, coaches we have a massive responsibility to recognise what's taking place and react in the right way. Its not about me taking offence, its about the importance of their challenge. Its about helping release guys to be who they can be. That's what the best coaches and leaders model. Its not about putting them down or forcing them to be something they are never going to be. I've learned over time, for our sons and for our daughters its about the power of affirmation.

Affirmation is important however young or old we are. The real key to success is in the who we are becoming not in the what we are doing.

I've seen too many great relationships dragged down by the pressure to perform and live up to something unattainable. The testing, the trial isn't about us doing something to be accepted. That would be self defeating as sometimes we win, sometimes we don't. But the trial the testing is more about us finding out what we are made of. Who we are. Without the trial without the testing we wont know what we are capable of.

God understands the way men work. So many people miss-read him. He doesn't want men to perform to be accepted. If that was the case, I guess like me, you'd concede, we mess up quite a lot of the time. He wants us to succeed as men and in the same way that we make room for the young guns to come through, He understands the importance of showing us we are accepted through relationship as sons, not on personal form or performance. He equally understands the incredible power of affirmation. The bible has a brilliant illustration of this. Just at the point that the man's man Jesus Christ was emerging into his life's calling, before he had done anything openly - God said openly of him "this is my son and I am so impressed with the man he is".

Running out on to the pitch, knowing who you are, knowing you have the affirmation of your team mates, knowing you have what it takes is a great boost. The same is true in life. The challenge is, there is a generation that are pushing, pressing for the tests, the trials wanting affirmation. Lets not block them, lets help unlock them and their potential - I wonder what kind of a team we could make?

I believe we can fly...

Some things can only be achieved by a leap of faith.......

Have you ever wondered how far you could go? How much you could achieve? I guess we could all confirm our aspirations and just as equally, we could recite our list of reasons for not climbing higher or stretching further. 

We seem to have a knack for settling - but don't you just sense there's more out there? There's more to be achieved, accomplished, lived out? You see, I believe we can fly...

In rugby union, there is a set piece play called a lineout. This play takes place if the ball has either been kicked or carried out of the field of play. The game restarts by the team in possession throwing the ball down a mid-line between two rows of players. Each side will have a series of coded calls designed to mask their intentions from the opposition. However, the primary purpose of a call is to engage a specific player - to get him off the ground, to get him moving, to let him know - this ball is yours.

I took this picture at a championship game and it so neatly sums up for me the essence of reaching further, climbing higher, being on the stretch for more. 

As a man of faith, I believe God wants every man to have purpose as a man and be a man with a purpose. In other words, for men to realize that they have intrinsic value in who they are and in discovering that, to use who they are for a cause - to meet a need, to provide, to help, to support, to add strength, to add weight. Who wouldn't want to be a better man, a better husband, son, brother or friend?

I love the drama of the photograph:

• the player has jumped in response to a call 
• he has the support of his team mates to lift him, to give him a boost, to take him higher
• the ball is meant for him
• if he takes it, the entire team benefits
• does he catch it?

The crucial dynamic at work in taking possession of what is intended for him, is for the player to jump at the right time and take a hold of what's coming his way. Now that requires strength, courage and a sense of timing. I read recently that on average a ball will be caught something like 3m to 3.5m off the ground. That would place a players head something like 10 feet off the ground - now that's a long way to fall - but you know, if we take a risk, I believe we can fly...

Sure the player in the picture is under pressure:

• he has to trust the call and the thrower
• he will have the challenge of the opposition
• he will have the expectation of his team mates
• he will have the anticipation of the crowd and
• he will have the watchful eye of the referee

But....unless he jumps, he may never catch the ball that was intended for him.

The great thinker and writer Paul wrote these wise words of guidance for men in the bible..."I want to get hold of what God has got a hold of me for"...Sure, there are many reasons for us staying on the ground, but what about allowing for the possibility that there may just be more? Paul is saying I know there is more and I want to take hold of it with both hands. I want to get to grips with the man I know God wants me to be.

That moment of being in the air, stretching upwards to take a hold of the ball is exhilarating, but you're going to come down pretty soon and that's exactly where we re-engage with the game - with the ball!!

There is a call that God has coded just for you. We have to trust that call and the thrower. Its a call to join a noble cause, a call to purpose, a call higher, to stretch further. Its like the ball that has your name on it. But how far could you go? How much could you achieve? If we are prepared to trust the call and take that leap: I believe we can fly....

Festive Fixtures

Going to watch any sport over the Christmas and New Year period is an experience not to be missed. There is a different kind of atmosphere in the ground.

Rugby is well known for the friendliness and banter among opposing fans - with no crowd segregation required, in fact quite the opposite is true. On many occasions I have shaken hands with total strangers at the end of a game, where we have cheered our own, applauded the skills of our opponents, debated the finer points of refereeing decisions (for both sides) and laughed at funny incidents and the wise cracks of fellow fans. But at the Festive games, this goes to another level - with Santa Claus hats, festive singing, mince pies being passed out by people who you've never seen before, seasonal greetings mixed with another kind of spirit and "hellos" and "handshakes", like you've not seen the people sitting next to you for a decade - when in fact they were there at the last home game!!

The players get involved, laughing  and joking, even the match officials seem to be less stuffy. At one festive game, in front of a very large crowd, a rather "stout" referee, jogged up to an incident flagged as a "late tackle" on one of our players, and in a very loud voice, for the benefit of the crowd, said "that tackle was so late, even I got there before you"...to even louder jeers and shouts from the crowd ..."keep off the mince pies ref"...

But against this backdrop, not quite overshadowed by the festivities, there is a game to be played out. The matches over the holiday period, surrounded by the fun and banter, are often pivotal to the remainder of the season and can, in the mud, snow, rain and wind, be defining moments for individual players - some with international selection on their mind.

As a man of faith, these games remind me of another defining moment, which today is often and rightly surrounded by fun, family and all that a major festival has on offer - the birth of Jesus Christ in Bethlehem. Christmas is a celebration. Its a celebration in many ways like the crowd scenes at a festive match. Goodwill breaks out. People who hardly speak, take the time to talk to each other, people share food and banter. But in the same way, now almost overshadowed by the festivity, let us not forget, a crucial game was being played out too, with destiny at its center.

As with festive fixtures, against the background of a crowd filled with festive cheer, the birth of the man's man Jesus, was a defining moment. For Christmas, marks the potential for a turning point in the affairs of every man, wherever his life's journey has taken him so far. What is being played out, is God's game plan for humanity, with Jesus Christ as the key play maker. His birth, life and subsequent death and resurrection, make it possible for anyone to experience the kind of feeling we get at Christmas, throughout the whole year - that understanding that there is a peace, a sense of well being and goodwill toward others and perhaps, the most important aspect, the appreciation that what has been, can be laid aside, forgiven and a man can make new start.

In the same way that a match, an encounter over the festive period can shape the rest of the season for a team, an encounter with the man's man, the Christ of Christmas, can be a defining moment, changing the rest of the "season" for us as individuals.

So, against the background of the festive period, lets spare a thought for the players out on the pitch, recognizing, its game on! Then, pausing, spare a thought for the key player in the humble scene from Bethlehem and recognize that for us too, it can be - game on!

An Act of Remembrance

In sport, there's always a sense of the unknown attached to away matches. What will the opposition be like on their own patch? You leave the familiarity of your own ground and you have to compete in their arena, their territory. The test in the face of the unknown can be daunting. We call sport combat, but it isn't warfare. Rugby is a full contact sport, but it isn't armed conflict.

When you play in an away game, you can have all of your set plays worked out, you can know all the moves and calls, but it's often the intangible bond that makes a team a team that carries you through the pressure and the physical challenges. But it's not war.

I recently visited a very prestigious boarding school with a team. We played against a backdrop of rolling hills, woodland and the towers of the old school building, complete with turrets and gargoyles. What a place to play a rugby match. You could feel the sense of tradition and history. We made history too ending a 15 year wait for an away win against our opponents. But it wasn't hand to hand fighting or roadside incendiary devices. It was a game. A game, between 30 lads, who clapped each other off the field, changed, sat down and ate a meal together.

I took the opportunity to have a look around. As I walked the corridors and entered into a great hall, I was confronted with a series of portraits of young men wearing military uniforms. There were seven (7) of them in total. Closer inspection revealed they were all former pupils. They had one very distinguished thing in common. They had all been awarded the highest military honour - the Victoria Cross. Seven from one school.

As I read the citations of their heroic acts and the notes about these incredible young men, several who paid with their lives, it dawned on me, these lads had played the same sport, on the same fields we had played on earlier that afternoon. I realised the lads who had played earlier, were these men in the making and what a responsibility I have as a dad, a friend, a coach.

My thoughts turned again to the spirit there had been that afternoon - to win. The bible has a great insight into camaraderie: "a brother is born for adversity and there is one who sticks closer than a brother". I thought of the lads, who knew their team mates were there for them. I thought of the selfless sacrifice of the seven young men, looking out at me from their portraits and of all who were helped by their heroism. I thought of the man's man Jesus Christ, who said "greater love has no man than this, that a man lays down his life for his friends", then demonstrated that love for all mankind through his death on the cross. Truly the one who sticks closer to us, even than a brother.

What an away trip. But it wasn't war. There are those engaged in a more fierce away match. There are families affected by the loss of loved ones and those that carry the scars of conflicts past and present. As the day for Remembrance approaches, let us not only take a moment to reflect, but let's allow the remembrance to make us act: to be the brother for times of adversity, to be a friend that sticks closer than a brother and like many who we remember and Christ who gave his all, let us give something of ourselves daily in selfless acts. After all our great sport is just that, a sport, it's not warfare.

Calling for a "mark!"

Have you ever been under extreme pressure? Perhaps that's how you might feel right now? There's a strange rule in the sport of rugby that is a brilliant illustration of handling pressure situations. Any player in the 22m area of their own half attempting to catch a ball and considers themselves to be under pressure from the advancing players of the other team may call a "mark" - when the rule was introduced the player had to make a mark with their boot too - now, shouting "mark" is enough for the referee to halt play, relieving pressure by restarting with a free kick to the catching player. It all sounds a bit gentlemanly in a full contact sport, but the intention of the rule is to provide protection for an under pressure player and stop them being totally flattened when they are focussing on a catch. Calling for a mark is a legitimate defence and requires skill to focus on catching the ball and being aware of an imminent danger at the same time. It takes presence of mind and courage to reach for a high ball under pressure. It certainly isn't a weakness to make the call, as the alternative is a bruising! Sometimes, as a man, I feel I have to take all the hits that come my way and I try to internalize or absorb everything. But even the strongest person has a limit. Bottling things up inside until we explode can be dangerous and too often those who are the closest to us suffer as a result of our lack of communication, withdrawal or release of pent up feelings. John Kirwan, the great New Zealand rugby player has written a very helpful book about his personal journey in dealing with depression called "All Blacks don't cry". It's an honest account from someone at the very top of their game who suffered from depression. It illustrates the need to be courageous in recognising signs and the importance of having a strong support network. Alongside the practical release of pressure from open and honest communication, as a man with a faith, I have discovered that in pressure situations, I can call for a "mark", appealing to a real man's man as a source of help - Jesus Christ. The bible has a very practical description of God (psalm 46) pointing out that he is a "refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble". I know from personal experience, pressure comes and I know that there are times when I have been flattened too. We can try and absorb everything, but ultimately something gives. I have found that making the call isn't weakness: it's a sound, technical and courageous defence. Who are you calling?