Confidence to Perform Consistently

For a few years now, I've been watching an emerging rugby team play. They have been ranked very highly over recent seasons in 15 a-side rugby and 7s. Yet for some reason, this season, their potential hasn't been realised. The team lost a number of games to teams they had previously beaten and heads went down. They hit a poor run of form that they couldn't shake off.

It's hard to put a finger on what actually caused the sudden downturn in form. A couple of players out with injuries? Other teams being physically larger this season? A tougher fixture list? Not really. Surely a good team doesn't become a poor team overnight?

I've reflected on what I witnessed and I came to the conclusion that the reason for the slide in performance was a loss of confidence. This then drove a lack of self belief. Over a period of time, you could see it becoming contagious.

Subsequently, I talked over this loss of form with a number of coaches, managers, educators and mentors in a number of fields outside of rugby to get as a wide a view as possible. A theme emerged from my conversations: one of the biggest performance killers is a lack of self belief which manifests itself in low confidence. That lack of confidence stops so many from getting back up and running or even making an attempt in the first place. I decided to investigate confidence.

I have to point out here I'm not advocating the development of hugely inflated egos - there are enough of those around in all walks of life. No, I am talking about the "objective understanding of ability and personal qualities" that enable people in all walks of life to take a step forward - often, as it were, to take  a step of faith -  in order to achieve something or attempt something different.

I thought long and hard about confidence in a sporting context and specifically about what are the "abilities and qualities" that drive performance. I concluded that essentially there are four key areas: technical ability, creativity, cognition and spatial awareness. They seemed to be common to most sports.

Technically, an athlete has to know how to perform core components competently: pass, tackle, kick, catch - all have to be worked at. This is true in any walk of life be it sport, a job, an area of service and even in relationships - we need to know how to treat people, how to communicate, how to listen. There are things we have to work at.

Creative thinking is that ability that allows you to think outside of the box. In a sporting sense it's the ability to play what is in front of you, responding to what you see in a constructive rather than destructive way. This way of thinking and processing real time game information is linked to cognitive ability - that is the ability to take information in, process it and replay the information in the form of problem solving using what you have worked on in training, your experience and the way the game is panning out.

Spatial awareness is the ability to see objects or people in relation to each other in space and time. It's that sense you have before you make a pass, knowing that the ball will reach the other person because you have the ability to judge space and speed. It's understanding your location on the field of play in relation to  player with the ball and the timing of a tackle or when to pass or make a break.

Sports psychologists tell us that the ability to focus and get refocussed are the keys to staying on track and sustaining performance. Doing what we know we can do and doing it to the best of our ability breeds confidence. Confidence enables us to do more of what we know we can do and sustains performance. They identify "distraction" as the trigger that so often hits confidence, suggesting internal and external reference points as a means of getting back on track and refocussing. Often a coach will have worked on a key phrase or word or an image to help a player regain composure. They are mental reminders of what the player knows but has been distracted from. Sadly, we have all seen the alternative when confidence collapses - the inevitable slide into overthinking and under performing - even for world class athletes. Its true when we experience life set backs too.

Now we all know that there are times in sport when we do actually lose a game because we meet opponents who are simply better than us. Those are the experiences from which we learn and go on to develop our own skill levels. The same is true of course in every walk of life. Unless we grab hold of the development opportunity that we are presented with in a difficult challenge or in a defeat, we are destined to produce repeat performances.

How we respond in any situation will have a big influence on what happens next. If we allow ourselves to be defined by circumstances, by what just happened, it will not only impact what happens next, but will begin to influence who we are. We start to  become responders, rather than initiators. Who wants to go through life simply reacting to everyone and everything we encounter.

The bible has an interesting observation on confidence, when it states: "don't throw your confidence away".  Its context is a passage talking about what impacts our definition as men.

How are we defined? By postcode, by job, by ethnicity, by salary, by competency, by our circumstances? Our true definition is not external. Sure, we stand in and operate from our circumstance, but they don't actually define us.

If in life as in sport, confidence is linked to our four key areas, then:

• technically we have to work on being the very best version of who we can be. 
• creatively, we can develop a sense that there is life outside of the box of the usual or routine way of thinking. 
• we can begin to appreciate that what is in front of us can be overcome, that, we can find solutions. 
• we can take a step back or pause momentarily to assess objectively where we are spatially in relation to others and what is going on around us.  

These are the abilities and qualities that help us to understand how we fit into the dynamics of a game, our jobs, a service or ministry area and relationally.

Confidence need not fly away with a poor result or outcome. Technical ability doesn't suddenly drain away overnight after we have lost a match. Our ability to read a game and creatively problem solve when confronted with a difficult situation doesn't disappear. What we have worked on, developed, become competent at hasn't been surgically removed without us noticing.

Sure there is room for improvement - that is called growth. But, we need to become skilled at identifying reference points to help us re-engage with our self belief and maintain or regain confidence.

The great thinker and writer Paul helps us with by looking at confidence from a different angle. He noted... "I am confident of this, that he who began a good work in you, will be faithful to complete it" - in other words, we can have confidence in foundational things and specifically in the foundational relationship we can have with the man's man Jesus Christ. Our confidence can develop as we recognise he doesn't go back on the ground we've covered together. He doesn't quit on us when it gets tough.

Two things mark out the man who can face most things that are thrown at him:

• the confidence he has in the abilities and qualities he carries from his personal experience and training and they can't be taken from him - that's self belief. 
• the confidence he can have in knowing that he has a source of help that transcends the circumstance, the game, the situation- that's faith;

faith in the man's man Jesus Christ to deliver on his commitment to us.  So let's not throw our confidence away. Lets work at the things we can work on and commit to Jesus Christ through faith, so that win, draw or lose we have a confidence that isn't disposable.

Cakes, cement and rugby

It was with a sense of anticipation that I was travelling to the English town of Rugby. My excuse was a business meeting. That was a front, I was on a mission.

I've always had an interest in where or how things started. Things that we take for granted. Things that are now part our everyday lives. Everything starts somewhere.

I had a mental picture of what I was going to experience. I wanted to take in the atmosphere, the sense of history. I would be inspired to come up with some motivational one liners, to inspire the lads back home. I was going to the birthplace of the great sport of rugby.

Driving along, I imagined William Webb-Ellis playing on the fields of the famous Rugby school. I could hear the lads and the master in charge shouting "What do you think you're doing boy?" Catching the ball and in defiance of the rules, Webb-Ellis ran off down the field with ball in hand. The rest as they say is history.

I didn't get to see the famous school. In fact, all I saw was the Rugby Cement factory and a traffic roundabout advertising the fact that "Mr Kipling" makes his "exceedingly nice cakes" in Rugby. A fact that didn't go unnoticed. Rugby, cement and cherry bakewell tarts. I am pleased to note that Mr Kipling cakes website has a "cookies policy".

The only reference to the great, global, sport of rugby was a roadside sign letting me know when to turn for the Webb Ellis Industrial Estate.

Like most of urban Britain, the town centre was a mixture of familiar retail chains, independent local stores, charity shops and people going about their business. They were totally oblivious of my quest to find the birth-place of a significant sport. I didn't even see a rugby pitch.

Standing in a car park looking at the back of the local bank and a small parade of shops, it was hard to imagine anything originating here - let alone the global phenomenon that is rugby. The remarkable thing is it did. Here in this small town in the middle of England. The truth of the matter is: everything starts somewhere.

The bible notes something about a town very similar to Rugby. It records a conversation between two men. They were talking about a man one of them had just met. The town: Nazareth. The man: Jesus Christ. "Where was he from? Nazareth? Can anything good come from there?" There was a familiarity about it. Jesus? Isn't he the carpenter? Rugby? Isn't that where they make cakes and cement?

The man's man Jesus lived in Nazareth. He had spent 30 years learning his trade and working as a carpenter. But his job, his town, his family circumstances didn't stop him taking his "catch the ball and run down the field" moment. His decision, to face whatever it would take to make us better men for knowing him, was world changing.

What decisions are we facing today? Don't let familiarity or circumstances prevent us from making choices that will change someone's world for the better; including perhaps our own. The ball is in the air. What will we do when we catch it?

It was strange to think that there, in Rugby, an ordinary town with ordinary people, something happened that changed the sporting world. Rugby has brought challenge, excitement, camaraderie and enjoyment to so many. Everything starts somewhere. And it's here, in the ordinary places, places with cement and cake factories, amongst the shops, banks, public car parks and yes the place where the great sport of rugby started, that the man's man Jesus challenges us to catch and run.

preparing for a new season?

Whatever level a team plays at, the run-in to the new season always feels like a shock to the system.  From the end of season to the point at which pre-season training starts, I think there has to be a specialised course that coaches and fitness trainers go on to discover the latest physical punishment techniques. Every pre-season seems to get worse, or is it something to do with the ageing process catching up!!

The physical demands of the sport of rugby are punishing in game situations, but the level of pain in training seems to increase year on year.  It's not as if we have suddenly become unfit from the end of the last season is it? Pre-season is a time for preparation and, as the saying goes, failing to prepare is preparing to fail.

The period before the start of a season is also a time of change and often a time of uncertainty. New players are coming in. Some of your old team mates have gone or retired. The coaching staff may have changed and you could be facing playing a completely different style of game. There could be new sponsors, different kit, even different facilities.  You will certainly be facing new teams following promotions and relegations even if you are in the same league. Nothing stays the same. Everything changes. Even the rules of the sport change from time to time. Change is inevitable. It's how we respond to change that prepares us for what comes next.

Making assumptions about the next season or about our place in the team or our going uninjured for the whole year can be a big mistake. I can remember the very first competitive game we played. A brand new team. Our opponents arrived and swaggered off their bus, buoyed by their teams results in previous years. We on the other hand had been kept firmly in place by our coach and had approached the game not knowing the team until the day before the match. We destroyed them 70-0 and that was in the days when a try was worth fewer points. It was a hard act to follow and the temptation to assume every match would be as easy was difficult to avoid. 

Toward the end of the pre-season, there is a sense of just wanting to get on with the campaign. But there is another hurdle to get over before the season can begin in earnest. Trials. Even though you have played for a team for a long time, you still have to go through the same process. New, fresh, younger up and coming players may have arrived on the scene. Everyone faces trials before the next season begins. The trials precede selection for the next season. 

It's tempting to want the start of a new season to simply roll on from the end of the last, but the new season will also have new challenges.

Life can be the same - physically and mentally demanding, change and uncertainty, making assumptions about what lies around the corner and well, full of trials. Life is also made up of seasons and those seasons do change and bring with them new challenges. A very wise man wrote in the bible in a book called Ecclesiastes - there is a time for everything, a season, everything fits in its place in its right season. How we respond determines what happens as those seasons turn. How we approach the trials will determine how we fare in the next season. 

Another great writer observed in a letter to a group of men called the Hebrews that there is one thing that doesn't change. In fact he was describing a person. The man's man Jesus Christ. Of him it was written: Jesus Christ - the same yesterday, today, forever. In other words in the middle of the demanding, the changing, the uncertain, the trials - he remains consistent in his approach and attitude towards us as men. What a great example of maintaining his composure as a man in the middle of change.  Change is difficult to accept sometimes, particularly if the impact of the change means we have to adapt or stop something to start something new. But as we approach a new season - in sport or in life, lets remember there is one who we can rely on to be totally consistent as a role model, as a mentor, but especially as a friend. The man's man Jesus Christ. 

As we face the challenge of a new season, lets meet the demands, the change, the uncertainty head on, not shying away from trial, but willing to press on in the knowledge that the trails qualify us for the next season and that we do not move forward alone. The man's man has already been there and wants to walk with us through to the other side.

On being an honorary Fijian

Recently I had the honour of standing with these guys. Have a listen to them first and then read how I became an honorary Fijian for a few days.

Over a few days in July 2013 it was my privilege to be involved with the Rugby League Festival of World Cups. What you might say was a rugby union man doing being involved in a league tournament? I had the honour of being invited to be a chaplain to the various Police teams playing in the tournament.  Making contact with the team liaison made it possible for me to be alongside the Fijian Police Rugby League team as they trained and played matches at the grounds of Featherstone Rovers, Bradford Bulls and Leeds Rhinos.  During those few days I was also able to speak to a number of the GB Police Rugby League lads, many of who work in my own county of West Yorkshire - good on you.

The thing that struck me about all of the lads and the staff - playing or talking about their day jobs, was how down to earth they were and the camaraderie amongst them. Being a serving police officer in what are very contrasting geographical locations - Fiji or West Yorkshire is a demanding task and so I commend these guys for their commitment to the job and serving their communities.

To be alongside both teams when they played against each other and against the Aussies was a fascinating insight into the teams, the highs of being selected and competing and the lows of missing out on selection and sadly the impact of serious injury on players, the squad and their watching families.  It was an honour to be there and be involved.

I was impressed with the way that all of the teams approached the tournament and I know from talking with the teams, coaches and players that some of the lads may be returning to the UK later in 2013 for the full Rugby League World Cup. Thanks must go to the sponsors, the Rugby League, their home an host Police Federations, to the players and their respective forces for releasing them to compete. For the Fijians they would want me to add, for sure, thanks to God - for as men of strength, courage, commitment, skill, speed and agility as all players in all of the squads were - many were also men of faith. At the close of every training session and at the end of the games; win, draw of loss, the Fijians create a huddle on the pitch and unaccompanied, sing their thanks to God.  You can click on the link above and below to hear some their songs.

It is my belief that when the voices of men are raised, not in anger or threat, but in unity of purpose, in faith, in serving the community as all of the squads do in their day jobs - then the impact on those around them is evident - drawing people in to engage with them, drawing people in to join with them and stand with them, drawing people in to listen and respond to what is being said.

Many men have raised voices today - some in anger, some in protest, some in pain, some in desperation. Others feel they have no voice or cannot be heard and need others to raise a voice for them.  The man's man Jesus Christ once said this; "if I am lifted up, I will draw men to me" - he was referring to the cross - lifted up to die as a substitute for all men. He was speaking of the honour of being given a place in the lives of men - through relationship being lifted past a remote impersonal entity, to an ever present friend, brother, supporter, coach, guide, leader and mentor.

When men come together to lift up Jesus Christ through their lives - other men are drawn to the reality that they both hear and see.What are our voices saying today? What sound are our lives giving off to those around us?

Enjoy these few clips and lets determine to lift our voices together and lift up and honour the cause of the man's man Jesus Christ - for the sake of others.

Let me have a go at that!

Every now and then someone comes along that seems to strike a chord with the public mood or has the ability to capture the collective imagination of a nation. Sporting heroes transcend the arena and in a way, become public property.

Everyone has a view or an opinion about them, they're talked about in the column inches of newspapers, they're discussed in the bars and pubs up and down the land, they enter into the public psyche and become legends of their particular sport. They become the subject of quiz questions and enter the record books. Of them, it is often said; they are inspirational.

When the New Zealand All Black Sonny Bill Williams used his one handed, out the back of his hand offload to devastating effect, every school boy rugby player wanted to "do a Sonny Bill." England's Chris Ashton's try scoring dives have also found their way onto the muddied skid pans of school rugby pitches. There will be countless other examples form every sport - from kids "slam dunkin" hoops to bending a soccer ball around a defensive wall at a free kick. There are people who just seem to make us all want to have a go.

In his book "Invictus" (previously titled Playing the Enemy) John Carlin outlines how Nelson Mandela used the 1995 Rugby World Cup to engage the entire nation of South Africa as part of his plan to birth a nation against the background of division resulting from the legacy of apartheid. Francois Pienaar the Springbok rugby captain was invited to meet with Mandela. From that meeting grew an amazing story.

The genesis of Mandela's plan, was also the birthplace of a relationship between the two men that has transcended sport. The impact of that meeting with Mandela was inspirational. Pictures of President Mandela wearing the green and gold colours of the Springboks have taken on iconic status. The brief dialogue of the two men as Pienaar received the Webb Ellis trophy from Mandela is equally inspiring: Mandela to Pienaar "Francois, thank you very much for what you have done for our country", Pienaar to Mandela "No, Mr President thank you for what you have done for our country".

Of the man's man Jesus Christ, the bible records in his day, people from all walks of life wanted to go check him out. He was talked about in village inns, religious meetings, army barracks, the infirmaries of the day, on the street and by every level in society. Thousands gathered on hillsides or followed him lakeside. The crowds were so overwhelming, he had to get into a boat to speak to them.

When people saw some of the amazing things he did and heard the things he said, my guess is, many youngsters and even adults gave more than a passing thought to - "doing a Jesus". Who wouldn't want to do something special or say something inspiring. Who wouldn't want the acclaim of a crowd? Then came an event that changed everything. The cross. Wonder who was willing to "do a Jesus" now?  The truth of the matter is, as men, we are expected to do just that - to "do a Jesus" to put self secondary to the greater good of others.

The reality behind the inspiring actions, speeches, shots on goals, try scoring and yes, even performing the miraculous is a lifetime of working behind the scenes when no one else is watching. Developing character in the obscurity of the every day. The man's man Jesus put self aside for the good of all mankind.

When we see the greats, when we feel inspired to "have a go", re-tweet or post on social media a famous quote or inspirational "on-liner", lets go for it and remember too, that there are somethings we as individuals must all have a go at - there is a higher purpose; the purpose that puts self aside for the sake of others.

When your game plan falls apart

I recently went to watch a rugby match in a local county league. The match had significance for a number of reasons:

•  it would potentially secure promotion for one of the teams
• I knew a couple of the guys playing in the match
• it was the first time in years I had watched minor league sport

The team I went to watch won the match and were promoted. However, as a spectacle, it was poor in quality and certainly wasn't a great advert for the game. Despite their clear technical and physical superiority, the promotion seekers somehow lost their focus. They spent large parts of the game commenting on the demerits of the referee and complaining. Once they had lost focus, their standards started to slide. The rapidly deteriorating quality of their decision making, made their opponents seem more competent. This boosted opposition confidence, which compounded the title chasers  problems and led to handling errors and mistakes. In the end, the team were arguing amongst themselves. Despite the scoreline, they were behaving like losers.

Now, you could rightly argue "they won". But for me, this game became an illustration of the importance of focusing on the right things and, doing those "right things" right. Despite the win, it was a shambolic game that could have been so much better. In short, it wasn't a very good advert for the game and had the potential to dissuade the neutral from engaging with the sport.  How often do we allow our standards to slip and descend into a caricature of what we should be? How do others perceive the faith we profess based on what they see of us?

As they lost focus, the volume of handling errors and poor decision making increased alarmingly. When we lose sight of the main thing, we begin to bring into sight things that either don't matter, are peripheral or are simply wrong.

Despite the team being capable of blowing the opposition away, the match started to slip away from them.  However, there was a pivotal moment that altered the outcome. The game needed someone to refocus. Someone had to take it back by the scruff of the neck. Someone had to ignore the crowd decrying every refereeing decision. Someone had to get the team playing the right game in the right areas of the field. Just as the game was about to descend into a farce, one player took things into his own hands and stepped up to take responsibility. His intervention made the difference. He refocused and changed the outcome of the game. In the end, the team ran out comfortable winners, but, it was a poor game and one that deserves to be forgotten.

I'm sure there are times we have just scraped through or have felt our approach has been poor. It's worth analysing what goes on when we take our eyes of the main thing. What causes us to shift focus? Offence? Decisions going against us? Jibes from the sidelines, even from people who are supposed to be supporting us? The intervention of other people into "our space"? Things not going to our exact game plan? We can be so easily distracted And we've seen what loss of focus can do.

At those times, its worth remembering that we can refocus.  The bible has some great advice: Run with perseverance the course marked out for you, keeping your eyes focused on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for joy set before him, endured.. In other words; if we have decided to be a follower, a disciple, one who runs after Jesus the trailblazer of our faith, we need to keep our eyes firmly fixed on him as our focus. Science has belatedly discovered that what we focus our minds on has a strong physiological impact.  The object of our focus impacts the neural pathways in our brains and actually influences our motor functioning ability. Putting it a different way, if we focus on the wrong things, then our game will fall apart! Conversely, focusing on the right thing and following the right lead...

The Front Row Union

In which sport can you call someone a hooker without them taking offence? In which sport can you describe a man as being a loose head or a tight head? In which other sport does the weight and force of momentum generated by 16 men travel through the body and shoulders of 6 men locked together head to head?

In what has euphemistically been called the Front Row Union, prop forwards and hookers (the numbers 1, 2 and 3 in a rugby union team) are assigned to a unique band of men, who's task in life is to bring stability, strength and structure to set plays (scrummaging and lineouts) and who are expected to display courage, commitment and contact in open play (rucks, mauls, tackling).

Some consider the union to be a self-preservation society. A protective group for those who have been known to stray on the right side of the law occasionally. A safe haven for those practising the dark arts of worming, twisting, wheeling and boring, alongside the more conventional requirements of engaging, binding and driving. Some say the "union" is merely the creation of those who cannot comprehend these men mountains - weaker souls, who consign the front row to a corner of the training ground far from the self declared fleet of foot, who wear clean shorts and un-muddied jerseys. But with nick names like Raging Bull and the Beast who amongst us would argue a point?

Ask a cartoonist to draw a picture of a rugby player and almost without fail, they will sketch out a thick set, Neanderthal looking specimen. Said Neanderthal would be sporting mishapen ears and/or nose, possibly accompanied by facial scars and invariably a large overhanging stomach. Away from the enlightened, perception is king. In previous decades, in which there was a healthy ignorance of the techniques employed by the members of the front row union, a young player would often be consigned to the front row if his shape looked odd alongside those who could pass out of both hands or sidestep. You became a prop if you were on the slightly large side and slow.  You were a hooker if you were half decent at throwing in straight or if there were too many flankers.

However, with rule changes that have been introduced to make the scrum a place of relative safety and that have for many years permitted the lifting of lineout jumpers - the shape and pace of the modern front row forward has evolved, far from the cartoonists image. In the modern game, front row forwards have to be athletes, whose strength and stamina are unquestionable and who provide both the stability to secure possession and the prowess to regain it.

If the old adage is true: forwards win games and the backs decide by how many, then to allow the free flow of play, you must have possession. So, regardless of the decade and arguments about the greatest sides ever assembled - the requirement for front row forwards is undeniable.As long as there are scrums, rucks, mauls, lineouts - in fact rugby - who wouldn't want men of strength, courage, physicality and technical ability on their side?

The bible records a battle involving an Israeli army. The account points out that the ageing spiritual and political leader, chief justice and strategist Moses,  had set out the plan for the battle. Not unlike a tactical game plan. To support the effort on the ground, he was to keep his arms raised, with his staff held high - as a symbol, illustrating the victory that would come. The fighting was intense. The battle wore on. Though he was a great leader, Moses tired physically. His arms eventual gave way to fatigue. Without the symbol to inspire them, the battle started to slip in favour of the opposition who sensed their opportunity - until, two men came alongside Moses, to physically prop up his arms and raise again the symbol for victory - evidence of Props bringing stability and strength and re-establishing the platform for victory. Needless to say the Israeli army prevailed - because of the props.

Unless we want to retreat and leave the field of play, life requires us to engage and do battle with it. Its a fact. To advance, to make a mark for good, to secure possession of what is of value to us and prevent it being snatched away by circumstance or neglect, requires commitment and courage. Sometimes life demands that we seek out the help of others or perhaps more poignantly we see the need of others.

The battle was secured by the Israeli army because strong men stood alongside leadership to provide their support and momentum. How frequently in business, in the service of others, in the church and especially in family life, is there a need for a special breed of men to step forward. Men who will  raise a hand to be counted in. Men who will provide support, strength and stability.

The front row union is not a closed shop. It is not a collection of mis-fits. It is not a secret brotherhood. It is a band of men who will stand in the front row, who are prepared to bind together and engage directly with opposition and give everything they've got for the greater good or the bigger goal. Businesses, communities, churches and families all need support to drive through positive change for the good of all - are we ready to engage? If our rugby cartoonist was to sketch out the man that I am, would I appear as a caricature or would he be compelled to sketch out strength, stability and stature?

The Up and Under

In most sports, there are moments in a match that can best be described as "transition moments".

A transition moment can last a few seconds - like the timing of a pass or the flight of a ball to touch, or they can be in a set play such as a scrum or a lineout, lasting over a more prolonged period.

At these moments in a game, the ball is moving, but its ultimate destination may vary from its anticipated destination - in other words, there are risks attached to transition moments. A pass may be intercepted, a ball may not bounce before it reaches touch or a scrum or lineout may be taken by the opposition. But without the inherent risk in transition moments, there would be no game. There would be no excitment.

The "up and under" or the "bomb" in rugby league, or in Irish rugby the "Garryowen" (named after the famous club from Limerick who used it to great effect) is another example of a "transition moment" in rugby.

The "up and under" is a very high kick, played by a team intent on putting thier opponents under pressure from a fast falling, high ball. The pressure comes as they attempt to make a catch with attackers advancing on them at speed. It's often used to relieve pressure when a team has been defending for lengthy periods - in other words it is both an attacking option and a breakout or breakthrough option.

When a ball is hoisted high into the air, its interesting to watch the kicking players next move - free from ball carrying, the player charges forward, unimpeded as the ball is in flight. His goal, to  catch the ball again and press on, or make a thumping tackle on the catcher before he can get a pass or kick away. One thing to notice about this transitional moment is the difference in the forward progress of a player without the ball - whilst the ball is in the air and the kicker is on the move, no player can touch him or tackle him. This is in stark contrast to making progress with the ball, when the player would be fair game to any opposition tackler.

Reflecting after watching a recent game in which this play was executed to great effect, I concluded there are some useful insights we can capture from the "up and under" for sport, life, service and business:

• you have to let go sometimes in order to gain ground
• when you release something you have to start to move in the direction of whats anticipated next
• when we send what we've been carrying upwards we can move forward unimpeded

As a man with faith, this latter point is important to me as I know I can trust the upward glance of committing things to God through prayer. I may not be certain at that point of how it will bounce back to me. It may not be as I anticipate, but I know that I can move forward unimpeded whilst what I commit to God is with him and when the ball lands so to speak, I will know what to do when I need to do it.

But rememering that there are risks to all transition moments, to use the play to maximum effect requires:

• an awareness of your position on the field of play in realtion to your team mates and the opposition
• an understanding that relieving pressure has purpose - the creation of a breakthrough moment
• an appreciation of the need to be prepared to adjust quickly if the outcome isn't what you had originally intended or anticipated and
• the moment the ball comes back to ground, you may be called on to catch what you have released or to make the tackle that gets it back

Thinking about business or serving or even in developing and growing strong relationships, all of these factors are important in knowing exactly where we are:in relation to others around us, the challenge of opposition and the need to have a plan but with an adaptive mindset as we move and flow with how the game pans out.

Remember what goes up must come down and so standing still is not an option. If we launch an up and under, we must be prepared to move, recognising that we have to take risks sometimes to create transition moments and that those transition moments can lead to breakthroughs...

The Close Season - finding rest

Recently, I was struck with just how short the time is between the end of one sports season and the start of the next. Modern sportsmen and women seem to be constantly competing, conditioning or carrying injuries! The intensity of top level sport requires year round preparation. Competing as a hurdler, my eldest son had the added complication of preparing for an indoor and outdoor athletics season. Logistically very interesting and physically and emotionally demanding.

Investigating further, I discovered that three days after the grand final of the championship in which my own rugby club had competed, the lads were back in for pre-season. Admittedly our season was over a few weeks prior to the grand final, but I think you get the picture. Even if there are longer periods between actual seasons, there are other competing demands such as tours or international call ups. Its a tough environment in which to stay at the top of your game, the demands seem unrelenting. I guess life itself can seem pretty unremitting at times too.

Rest and recuperation are essential ingredients in ensuring a return to the physical demands of competition. But with training and conditioning environments frequently as vigorous as competing, its often very difficult to find time to fully rest. One of my great coaching mentors used to tell us "you have to be fit to train" and he was right! Progressing through a grueling regime and then breaking into the competitive season often left us as mentally tired as we were physically. You can travel so far on your internal energy reserves and then they become depleted. You can equally travel on the adrenaline rush of the highs and lows of wining and losing. But eventually, you will need rest. I guess I am not alone in needing the first week of a holiday to simply come down from the stratosphere, through the atmosphere and back down to earth. There's always a slump too. I noticed it  in my family at the end of terms in education or the end of a particular project phase in work. Finding rest is important. Finding rest for your mind is essentially - although not always as simple as it sounds.

Scientists and doctors tell us there are different types of stress. Some forms of stress fire us to activity and are linked with the positive aspects of motivation and momentum. Other forms are destructive.When stress levels are very high and persist for prolonged periods of time, serious physical, emotional and mental damage can be set in train. Finding rest for our mind is essential. My wife recently told me to take a day off and just go do something that I enjoyed. I spent the day drinking coffee at a favorite cafe, getting a haircut and going to watch a rugby 7s tournament. It was strange actually taking a day off just for me. But she was right. It worked. As I sat drinking coffee and writing, it dawned on me, I felt relaxed. In the relaxation came refreshing. I went home happier, more relaxed and with more of a focus on our relationship.

Back in the day, our close season involved switching from rugby to athletics or cricket. I suppose the old adage is true, a change is as good as a rest. But there is a sense in which a real rest is better than a change. The man's man Jesus Christ understood the need for space and mental recuperation. He would often withdraw to a solitary place. Not to become introverted, or to brood over the public adversity he often faced. Nor to find relief from the continuous pressure brought by handling crowds of needy people. He would get away to recharge and rest his mind and pray. As a man of faith, I have discovered that prayer is a great stress reliever and a way of rediscovering and refreshing that faith.

The man's man Jesus recognized the importance of rest. At one the most pressured times, when his team couldn't even find time to eat, he insisted they come away to a solitary location to get some rest. His invitation is still valid today: "if you're feeling weary or weighed down by the load of responsibility or the weight of life in all its complexity is getting to you - come to me and find rest. Rest for the "you" that nobody else sees (rest for your soul). Scientists and medics, therapists and counselling experts tell us that articulating how we feel carries great value - not an easy one for men, but who better than the man's man to confide in as a man. There is a rest that refreshes and aids recuperation - its a simple conversation away with a man who men can trust.

The Power of a Shout

Have you ever stood in a wide open space, thrown your head back and just shouted for all you're worth? If you haven't tried it, go ahead. It's really invigorating. On a deserted New Zealand beach, facing the crashing breakers and looking out across the blue green expanse of the ocean, I stood with my arms outstretched and yelled "Freedom" - holding on the end of the word as long as I could, in true "Braveheart" fashion. Now stay with me on this, as far from advocating something crazy, or doing something that would disturb the peace or cause offence, there is an interesting dynamic attached to a "shout".

Something happens physically, emotionally and mentally when you give a shout. It's even better if there's a group of people all shouting the same thing. In a crowd, it can become electrifying. Sports teams frequently remark on the lift the crowd can give them.

In sport there are some great examples of "a shout". None more so than the "Haka" in rugby union. A feature of many of the Pacific Island teams, but probably best know as the pre-match challenge thrown out to opponents of the New Zealand All Blacks. 15 men standing in formation, facing their opponents, issuing a challenge with the menace and foreboding of the onslaught which is to follow.

England World Cup winner Will Greenwood writing for the Daily Telegraph and in his book "Will Greenwood on Rugby"(1)  tells of his personal experience ..."stare into the eyes of an All Black during the haka and you see a deep cold darkness. What you glimpse is a man's soul and it draws you in...the crowd disappears and your mind fills with the deafening voice of a nation asking you a simple question; these boys will do whatever it takes to win, how far will you go?...in that moment no matter how you got there, you have to decide..." Powerful stuff.

I like the underlying theme in what Greenwood says. In the challenge of the shout, you see a man's soul. In other words, something of the real man is seen through the shout. I guess that is true of the negative aspects of "shouting" - you see the real man for sure. But, there is a gulf between shouting and a shout. Between a rant and a shout. Between a voice raised in anger and a shout projected from deep within the soul of a man.

Scientists tell us that there is a physiological response when we shout - neurotransmitters in our brains are triggered and chemicals released through the pathways in our brain prepare us physically and mentally for challenge or engagement. It's not just science that has something to say. As a man with a faith, the bible has something to say about the power of a shout. It cites so many times the shout that armies raised before conflict. It also details another fascinating instance - "shouts of joy and victory echo through the tents of those who know God". In other words, these men understood the were winners in life and could raise a shout that was an affirmation of what they knew inside. They could also simply raise a shout, because like my experience standing on that New Zealand beach, it simply made you feel great - that is the "joy" part. Celebrating life, something coming from deep inside of you that wants to say "Yes!!"

Before a game, we would stand in a huddle and begin to jog on the spot. We would build it up to a run, then in unison, we would shout, counting off the numbers from 1 to 10. We would repeat the exercise and then run out onto the field ready to engage. My son's team gather in a similar huddle, a different generation, but linked arms they shout "1,2,3, squeeze, 1,2,3,squeeze" as they press into the huddle. Then they're off to engage.

Back to my beach experience. Did anyone hear me? I don't know. Was I drowned out by the sound of the waves? Probably. So why did I do it? Because at that moment, in those circumstances, like the guys back when the sound echoed through their tents, something from deep inside of me wanted to break out and celebrate and accept the challenge of life head on. Try it for yourself. There is an incredible release in the power of a shout.



(1) Will Greenwood on Rugby (Simon & Schuster 2012) ISBN 978-1-84983-715-6

Inglorious Moments

Come on, we've all had them. Something snaps inside and boom! I can remember very clearly one of my most "inglorious moments" in a rugby match. I was totally destroying the opposition number 6 beating him to every breakdown, tackling him when he was in possession and stripping the ball from him. I was having a great game. But I now only remember it for my "moment". The lad didn't like the fact that I was outplaying him. So using some very strong language, he said "if you do that again mate, I'll have you"....Crack! Wrong thing to say to me.

It was like someone had pressed a very big red button marked "how dare you accuse me!" Alarm bells, steam hooters, emergency buzzers and fog horns were sounding in my head. I said back to him "yeah? any day!" Well I thought I had said it. In fact, right in his face, I had shouted it so fiercely, the teams playing field hockey on a nearby pitch heard me and stopped to watch the action. I didn't think to stop and analyse what would happen next. It involved my fist and his face.

Since then I've done plenty of other things that I'm not proud of, using self defence or self preservation or anything as an excuse. All of them if I'm honest, inglorious moments. Off the field, my mind and my mouth have had their fair share of inglorious moments too. I doubt if I'm alone.

I know its no excuse, and we try to rationalize it, but in adrenaline fueled scenarios, where we are challenged by tiredness, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually and events are moving at pace we can so easily:

• make a wrong assumption about the motivation behind an action
• retaliate if we are provoked - some people seem to know which big red button works
• feel aggrieved at a decision that goes against us
• feel falsely accused - oh boy do I know my rights
• feel manipulated, undermined or used
• totally lose all sense of objectivity
• seek out revenge - I "will" get my own back
• lose control and let a wild outburst or stupid action take over

Particularly as men, we can feel our competence or sense of masculinity has been challenged or questioned. Our judgement gets clouded and we become irrational and stop thinking clearly. Another classic response is to depersonalise or project blame away from ourselves. Our language becomes; "the" passage or play, "the" relationship, "the" bills, "the" marriage, "the" kids. The reality is it's my marriage, my relationship, my kid, my job and of course its my attitude. Actions have consequences - in a game, we can be sin binned, sent off or even reported to a citing commissioner. Off the field emotional wreckage hurts. Relationships can be damaged irreparably.

Being able to take an objective view and beginning to understand that my actions, attitudes and adrenaline fueled reactions have consequences is a good starting point to reducing the frequency of my inglorious moments. Over a long time of making mistakes, I have discovered that who I am privately tends to come out when I am under pressure. So, the more I work on the who I am and who I am becoming, when the pressure situation arises, my personal intensity and stress levels don't rise with it. Most of my inglorious moments have come when I haven't stopped to think. The reality is, even in the split second, we have a choice to make. Make no mistake, sometimes those choices are not easy to make, even though they are the right ones.

Rudyard Kipling put it this way "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you but make allowance for their doubting too....then...you'll be a man my son".  The bible has a succinct way of expressing the same thought "a prudent man gives thought to his steps" - in other words, before you start down a particular road - think about where its going to lead to. It isn't weakness to take a step back and disengage with the inclination to raise a voice or a fist. Sure there are times when someone with passion has to speak out against injustice, but here we are dealing with the destructive side of personal volatility.

There is an interesting contrast in the bible account of a mob that descended on the man's man Jesus. He had been falsely accused. He had been betrayed by someone close to him. When the mob approached him to take him down, Peter one of those with Jesus, pulled out a weapon and injured a man before he was stopped from causing further damage. Sudden uncontrolled rage. By contrast, Jesus simply said "I am the one your looking for". Peter's response to the mob was anger and the mob's response to him was the same. Jesus' response was calmness under pressure. The mob's response was to literally fall back - the sheer presence of this man, his personal strength of character and integrity produced a reaction in them. We know he was arrested and tried in what was humanities own inglorious moment. But the ultimate victory was his because he showed by the choices he made under immense pressure who he truly was. I know what my reaction to the mob would have been - inglorious. But now, I am finally learning that I have a choice. And as I make that choice, I am no less of a man. In fact I become more of a man.

Affirmation through testing...

As very young rugby players, we were easily impressed when our points tally read like a cricket score. Our individual points totals increased and the battle for the forward or back with most tries scored was more of a motivator than sticking to the game plan. Today, with try and losing bonus points, heavy scoring will certainly add value to respective league tallies. But the reality is, huge scores against very weak opposition, prove very little and probably tell us no more than we already were aware of. Aside from risking a few  more training ground moves, there is little to be learned from thrashing the opposition.

No matter what we may say outwardly, after a convincingly and easy win, deep down everyone wants to be tested and tested against the best. Sure no one wants to be on the end of a thrashing, but the tougher the opposition, the more seems to be drawn out of stronger players. The testing ground is also the proving ground. Can we step up a level? Have we got what it takes? It was tougher to beat the rugby teams drawn from police forces or the mining and steel communities or the armed forces, but when we won, man, it felt good!

As my own sons have got older, I have smiled to myself as I've watched them look to test themselves against "the old man". With one it was sprinting and hurdling. A test of speed. There was a time when I could keep up. It didn't last for long as it soon became apparent that he was going to excel. The best I could do was act as work out fodder, watch him fly and press the stopwatch! I actually ran a 400m hurdle race once at the same athletics meet, to prove I was in the zone - I completed the race, but from that point it on I learned the hard way, it was all about him not me!

With the other son, its all about mock rugby scrummaging technique. Getting lower than me and driving me backwards. A test of strength. Its also about throwing passes to me that land not in may hands but my midriff. Its all about finding a level. Wanting the test. Wanting to know if they can make it. Wanting to know if they have what it takes. And you know....that's ok and that's right and they should be allowed the space to do that - so long as it comes from the desire for growth and finding their place. As dads, brothers, friends, coaches we have a massive responsibility to recognise what's taking place and react in the right way. Its not about me taking offence, its about the importance of their challenge. Its about helping release guys to be who they can be. That's what the best coaches and leaders model. Its not about putting them down or forcing them to be something they are never going to be. I've learned over time, for our sons and for our daughters its about the power of affirmation.

Affirmation is important however young or old we are. The real key to success is in the who we are becoming not in the what we are doing.

I've seen too many great relationships dragged down by the pressure to perform and live up to something unattainable. The testing, the trial isn't about us doing something to be accepted. That would be self defeating as sometimes we win, sometimes we don't. But the trial the testing is more about us finding out what we are made of. Who we are. Without the trial without the testing we wont know what we are capable of.

God understands the way men work. So many people miss-read him. He doesn't want men to perform to be accepted. If that was the case, I guess like me, you'd concede, we mess up quite a lot of the time. He wants us to succeed as men and in the same way that we make room for the young guns to come through, He understands the importance of showing us we are accepted through relationship as sons, not on personal form or performance. He equally understands the incredible power of affirmation. The bible has a brilliant illustration of this. Just at the point that the man's man Jesus Christ was emerging into his life's calling, before he had done anything openly - God said openly of him "this is my son and I am so impressed with the man he is".

Running out on to the pitch, knowing who you are, knowing you have the affirmation of your team mates, knowing you have what it takes is a great boost. The same is true in life. The challenge is, there is a generation that are pushing, pressing for the tests, the trials wanting affirmation. Lets not block them, lets help unlock them and their potential - I wonder what kind of a team we could make?

I believe we can fly...

Some things can only be achieved by a leap of faith.......

Have you ever wondered how far you could go? How much you could achieve? I guess we could all confirm our aspirations and just as equally, we could recite our list of reasons for not climbing higher or stretching further. 

We seem to have a knack for settling - but don't you just sense there's more out there? There's more to be achieved, accomplished, lived out? You see, I believe we can fly...

In rugby union, there is a set piece play called a lineout. This play takes place if the ball has either been kicked or carried out of the field of play. The game restarts by the team in possession throwing the ball down a mid-line between two rows of players. Each side will have a series of coded calls designed to mask their intentions from the opposition. However, the primary purpose of a call is to engage a specific player - to get him off the ground, to get him moving, to let him know - this ball is yours.

I took this picture at a championship game and it so neatly sums up for me the essence of reaching further, climbing higher, being on the stretch for more. 

As a man of faith, I believe God wants every man to have purpose as a man and be a man with a purpose. In other words, for men to realize that they have intrinsic value in who they are and in discovering that, to use who they are for a cause - to meet a need, to provide, to help, to support, to add strength, to add weight. Who wouldn't want to be a better man, a better husband, son, brother or friend?

I love the drama of the photograph:

• the player has jumped in response to a call 
• he has the support of his team mates to lift him, to give him a boost, to take him higher
• the ball is meant for him
• if he takes it, the entire team benefits
• does he catch it?

The crucial dynamic at work in taking possession of what is intended for him, is for the player to jump at the right time and take a hold of what's coming his way. Now that requires strength, courage and a sense of timing. I read recently that on average a ball will be caught something like 3m to 3.5m off the ground. That would place a players head something like 10 feet off the ground - now that's a long way to fall - but you know, if we take a risk, I believe we can fly...

Sure the player in the picture is under pressure:

• he has to trust the call and the thrower
• he will have the challenge of the opposition
• he will have the expectation of his team mates
• he will have the anticipation of the crowd and
• he will have the watchful eye of the referee

But....unless he jumps, he may never catch the ball that was intended for him.

The great thinker and writer Paul wrote these wise words of guidance for men in the bible..."I want to get hold of what God has got a hold of me for"...Sure, there are many reasons for us staying on the ground, but what about allowing for the possibility that there may just be more? Paul is saying I know there is more and I want to take hold of it with both hands. I want to get to grips with the man I know God wants me to be.

That moment of being in the air, stretching upwards to take a hold of the ball is exhilarating, but you're going to come down pretty soon and that's exactly where we re-engage with the game - with the ball!!

There is a call that God has coded just for you. We have to trust that call and the thrower. Its a call to join a noble cause, a call to purpose, a call higher, to stretch further. Its like the ball that has your name on it. But how far could you go? How much could you achieve? If we are prepared to trust the call and take that leap: I believe we can fly....

Men Need the Fight

Back in my playing days we were a mixed bunch of lads. Electricians, farmers, office workers, builders. But as soon as we pulled on the team shirt something happened. We became a team. The shirt is a great leveller. The cause is a great uniting force. There's something powerful when men unite for a common purpose. The physicality of the contact and the hits, the exertion in the scrum and driving mauls. The elation of making the tackle and turning over possession. The ecstasy or the agony at the final whistle - no matter the result we stood together. I have a feeling that whatever we did away for the game, we were better men for being part of something that required us to commit ourselves to others, to excel as individuals but acknowledge that it would take all 15 of us to prevail. We were better men having given something of ourselves to the fight. Men need the fight. But the fight needed men. Today I have to adjust to watching from fhe sidelines or coaching, but there is still enjoyment in the camaraderie and the banter on the touchline. But I still miss the hits, the physical tussles, making the tackles. Today it's a different fight. It's showing the way to the lads coming through, showing this generation the importance of the fight, how to engage as team,  how to excel firstly as men, then as players.  Men need the fight. The man's man Jesus Christ understands the importance and the longing of men to engage in the fight - he pulled together 12 guys from different backgrounds and set them on a course to change the world. He knew they would face tough opposition, criticism and open conflict. But there was a fight. The prize - the liberation of people contained by dead religion or the limitations of sad or inflicted circumstances or the cruelty of tyranny.  That early team were as different a bunch of lads as any rugby, soccer, baseball or football team, but they  were unified by the cause of "the" man.  Make no mistake, when they were asked to take up a cross and follow - they knew exactly what he was asking. But there is no gain without the fight. The great writer and follower of Christ, Paul, understood when he said to his young friend Timothy, fight the good fight of faith, lay hold of the life that really counts and will last beyond just our physical lifespan. He knew that men need the fight.  Men need the fight and perhaps as after the game, we may just be better men for engaging with the cause - better husbands, better fathers, sons, brothers, better friends. Better men. Men need the fight and....the fight needs men.

Line Speed & Keeping Shape

In sport, having a solid defence is a key element of building a strong team and creating a platform from which to launch attacks. There is little point in making great scores if the back door leaks away any advantage you've worked for. I guess that's true in life, business and in church scenarios. However, being overly defence minded can have a detrimental impact on the ability to think expansively and there, we must make sure our approach is a balanced one. Simply defending not to lose makes for a dull game. Life, business and faith without adventure is just marking time.

Recently, I was watching a 7 a side rugby tournament. It was fast and furious, with tries and tackles, pace and power. It was exciting stuff. The ability of teams to score was directly related to how the other team organised their defence and managed their line. One side in particular stood out. They were using their line of defence as a way of putting the team in possession of the ball on the back foot. The were forcing errors and turning over possession. How did they do it? Line speed and keeping their shape.

Rugby is a sport in which to advance, the ball has to initially travel backwards - this is true of an individual pass (it cant go forward) and from a set piece such as a lineout or a scrum. The ball travels backwards from the line of play and only when it has crossed its starting position has a team crossed the "gain line".

A cleverly organised defence, who are quick off the mark, can attack the space between and effectively force the other team backwards. This can be used to repel an attack and to take back lost ground, even though the "defending" team do not have possession. When line speed is combined with keeping the defensive shape, would be attackers have no gaps to exploit and have to play laterally (flat). That makes them an easier target to hit in a tackle. So, defending isn't negative or neutral. With shape and line speed, it can be a force for creating momentum and retaking possession.

Watching the team working together for each other was impressive. In fact, they were the team of the tournament, going on to become champions. There's something great, something noble about men standing together, with a common purpose, working as a team. There is a sense of camaraderie, being part of something bigger, a sense of achievement. There is good humour and a sense of we all stand or fall together. Working and striving together for a purpose can be the struggle, the trial, the crucible in which heroes are forged. A man without purpose is aimless. A man with purpose has a sense of identity and dignity.

The bible has some interesting observations about line speed and defensive shapes.

In times not dissimilar to today, a special envoy called Ezekiel noted that in his generation, when God was looking for men to stand up and be counted, no one could be found who would rise to the challenge of forming a defensive line for the sake of the vulnerable or those who had yet to reach their potential. There were gaps everywhere, breaches in the defensive line and the vulnerable were being preyed on by those who were exploiting the gaps. What an indictment.

Thankfully in other generations, the call was heeded. To each generation, God's call to men is the same. "Who will stand in the gap for the land?" Being a defender often means putting yourself on the line for the sake of another. Who wouldn't want the safe keeping of the vulnerable or to create the safety in which others can grow to fulfil their potential. But is doesn't just happen. The call is still the same in this generation - come on, "who will stand in the gap?" Who is prepared to work the line?

opting for the blind side

Open side or blind side? Contact or pass? Offload or go to ground? Cross field or down a direct channel? Pass or kick? Do you feel exhausted just reading those options? Most sports present players with a myriad of options at every point of play. Making very speedy assessments, evaluating the options and making a good choice are what marks the top players out from the crowd. In fact, making smart decisions is at the heart of how most things turn out.

One of the things young players take time to understand is, you've always got more time than you think you have. I guess if we looked at life in the same way, we'd probably conclude, we've made some rash decisions or leapt to a conclusion very quickly. If only we had time to consider the options.
So, why do many teams persist in playing down the blind side - put another way, why do teams look to play down a narrow channel rather than the much wider option presented by the open field of play? You see it often when there is a scrum or a lineout (throw in) - a team will set off down the narrowest part of the pitch. Why?

Here are three simple observations - the blind side:

a) its an attacking option in its own right - there is an element of surprise, especially when the defence are on the back foot, or they are spread across the open side. As an option you run the risk of taking more than a fair share of contact or being knocked into touch, but its attacking potential is great.

b) its a tactical play for widening out the open side even further - teams will continually go to the blind side and run the narrow strip of the field to draw defenders away from the open side and into contact, taking them out of the game - by releasing the ball quickly the potential for an open side attack can be siginficantly improved

c) its sometimes the only option available - when the defence is stacked against you, this may be the only option open. Sometimes, you've just got to commit to it and go, prepared for the impact.

Taking the obvious, wide open option is the route that many take.The bible has an interesting take on the blind side. Looking for and finding the narrower way is described by the man's man Jesus Christ as the way that leads to life. Who wouldn't want to follow a route that leads to life? Taking a different route certainly wouldn't be a smart choice.

Jesus Christ understands the narrow way, after all, its the route he followed. Yes he was a great teacher. Yes he was an outstanding person. Yes he did some outstanding things. But perhaps the most outstanding thing was when he stepped across to the narrow way, the blind side. In taking the blind side, he wrong footed his critics, opposition and the wrecker of humanity. It is recorded that the man's man put his reputation to one side, took up the role of service and in incredible humility took the full impact of our failings. His blind side, was a cross.

What a choice. But, just like a player going down the blind side draws the opposition defence, he opened up the field of play for us to make progress. That's impressive. Back to those sporting and life choices. We could simply roll with the crowd or we could look for a narrower way. The blind side. If we're prepared to find it, it leads to life - now that's stand out from the crowd stuff - but are we prepared to look for it?

Festive Fixtures

Going to watch any sport over the Christmas and New Year period is an experience not to be missed. There is a different kind of atmosphere in the ground.

Rugby is well known for the friendliness and banter among opposing fans - with no crowd segregation required, in fact quite the opposite is true. On many occasions I have shaken hands with total strangers at the end of a game, where we have cheered our own, applauded the skills of our opponents, debated the finer points of refereeing decisions (for both sides) and laughed at funny incidents and the wise cracks of fellow fans. But at the Festive games, this goes to another level - with Santa Claus hats, festive singing, mince pies being passed out by people who you've never seen before, seasonal greetings mixed with another kind of spirit and "hellos" and "handshakes", like you've not seen the people sitting next to you for a decade - when in fact they were there at the last home game!!

The players get involved, laughing  and joking, even the match officials seem to be less stuffy. At one festive game, in front of a very large crowd, a rather "stout" referee, jogged up to an incident flagged as a "late tackle" on one of our players, and in a very loud voice, for the benefit of the crowd, said "that tackle was so late, even I got there before you"...to even louder jeers and shouts from the crowd ..."keep off the mince pies ref"...

But against this backdrop, not quite overshadowed by the festivities, there is a game to be played out. The matches over the holiday period, surrounded by the fun and banter, are often pivotal to the remainder of the season and can, in the mud, snow, rain and wind, be defining moments for individual players - some with international selection on their mind.

As a man of faith, these games remind me of another defining moment, which today is often and rightly surrounded by fun, family and all that a major festival has on offer - the birth of Jesus Christ in Bethlehem. Christmas is a celebration. Its a celebration in many ways like the crowd scenes at a festive match. Goodwill breaks out. People who hardly speak, take the time to talk to each other, people share food and banter. But in the same way, now almost overshadowed by the festivity, let us not forget, a crucial game was being played out too, with destiny at its center.

As with festive fixtures, against the background of a crowd filled with festive cheer, the birth of the man's man Jesus, was a defining moment. For Christmas, marks the potential for a turning point in the affairs of every man, wherever his life's journey has taken him so far. What is being played out, is God's game plan for humanity, with Jesus Christ as the key play maker. His birth, life and subsequent death and resurrection, make it possible for anyone to experience the kind of feeling we get at Christmas, throughout the whole year - that understanding that there is a peace, a sense of well being and goodwill toward others and perhaps, the most important aspect, the appreciation that what has been, can be laid aside, forgiven and a man can make new start.

In the same way that a match, an encounter over the festive period can shape the rest of the season for a team, an encounter with the man's man, the Christ of Christmas, can be a defining moment, changing the rest of the "season" for us as individuals.

So, against the background of the festive period, lets spare a thought for the players out on the pitch, recognizing, its game on! Then, pausing, spare a thought for the key player in the humble scene from Bethlehem and recognize that for us too, it can be - game on!

An Act of Remembrance

In sport, there's always a sense of the unknown attached to away matches. What will the opposition be like on their own patch? You leave the familiarity of your own ground and you have to compete in their arena, their territory. The test in the face of the unknown can be daunting. We call sport combat, but it isn't warfare. Rugby is a full contact sport, but it isn't armed conflict.

When you play in an away game, you can have all of your set plays worked out, you can know all the moves and calls, but it's often the intangible bond that makes a team a team that carries you through the pressure and the physical challenges. But it's not war.

I recently visited a very prestigious boarding school with a team. We played against a backdrop of rolling hills, woodland and the towers of the old school building, complete with turrets and gargoyles. What a place to play a rugby match. You could feel the sense of tradition and history. We made history too ending a 15 year wait for an away win against our opponents. But it wasn't hand to hand fighting or roadside incendiary devices. It was a game. A game, between 30 lads, who clapped each other off the field, changed, sat down and ate a meal together.

I took the opportunity to have a look around. As I walked the corridors and entered into a great hall, I was confronted with a series of portraits of young men wearing military uniforms. There were seven (7) of them in total. Closer inspection revealed they were all former pupils. They had one very distinguished thing in common. They had all been awarded the highest military honour - the Victoria Cross. Seven from one school.

As I read the citations of their heroic acts and the notes about these incredible young men, several who paid with their lives, it dawned on me, these lads had played the same sport, on the same fields we had played on earlier that afternoon. I realised the lads who had played earlier, were these men in the making and what a responsibility I have as a dad, a friend, a coach.

My thoughts turned again to the spirit there had been that afternoon - to win. The bible has a great insight into camaraderie: "a brother is born for adversity and there is one who sticks closer than a brother". I thought of the lads, who knew their team mates were there for them. I thought of the selfless sacrifice of the seven young men, looking out at me from their portraits and of all who were helped by their heroism. I thought of the man's man Jesus Christ, who said "greater love has no man than this, that a man lays down his life for his friends", then demonstrated that love for all mankind through his death on the cross. Truly the one who sticks closer to us, even than a brother.

What an away trip. But it wasn't war. There are those engaged in a more fierce away match. There are families affected by the loss of loved ones and those that carry the scars of conflicts past and present. As the day for Remembrance approaches, let us not only take a moment to reflect, but let's allow the remembrance to make us act: to be the brother for times of adversity, to be a friend that sticks closer than a brother and like many who we remember and Christ who gave his all, let us give something of ourselves daily in selfless acts. After all our great sport is just that, a sport, it's not warfare.

Piano Players and Piano Shifters

An old, Welsh, coaching friend of mine once described a rugby team as being made up of "piano players and piano shifters".

A few of the younger lads looked puzzled, until the Celtic philosopher revealed: "the grunt and hard work comes from the piano shifting forwards, the fancy moves, running at angles, comes from the backs, the piano players".

The art of the armchair philosopher can be fickle, as he often yelled across the pitch "move you lumps of lard, or, get stuck in you fairies".

The fact of the matter is, a successful team needs a combination of skills, techniques, flair, power and vision. Every position in a team has purpose and every player that runs out onto the field of play has a purpose in the match.

The same is true in life: "every man has purpose and there is a purpose for every man". Our life mission is to find our purpose and live it out. The bible has a window into the purpose of the man's man, Jesus Christ. "for this purpose, Christ was revealed, to destroy the life wrecking schemes of the enemy" - now that's a massive purpose.

No matter where he is from, how he entered this world, no man is a mistake. Every man has intrinsic worth and is here for a reason. Our purpose may differ dramatically and for that reason, perhaps through ignorance, fear or even pride, we are inclined to place value on the known, or seemingly more important. But, I have learned, there is nobility in the purpose a man discovers and is diligent in.

Again there is some guidance from the bible when it notes - one part of a body can't say to another, I don't need you. It would look very strange if we were all one organ or limb! So, we need piano players and piano shifters in life.

The key is in understanding firstly, as a person I have purpose. Then, in discovering I have a
purpose, to work it out in the everyday. My purpose may not be the same as yours. So, let's be diligent in our own purpose and resolve to recognise the nobility of purpose in others. Let us, wherever we can, help our fellow man find his purpose, looking down on none, but valuing all.

Crossing the Gain Line

If you want to move forward, be honest, taking a step back is not usually our first thought.

I know for sure that I have stood toe-to-toe, or gone head to head, maintaining my position, not budging, because I believed I was right. Looking back, I now realise, all I did was prove a point without making progress or developing relationally.

Rugby is one of those odd sports that to go forward, the ball has to travel backwards. The motion of passing the ball is a prime example - you must make sure the line of travel is not in front of you. In set play (a scrum or a lineout), the ball can actually travel 10-15m or more, back from the point at which the play started. Once the ball has travelled forward and past the point it started from, the team has crossed the gain line.

There is method in the apparent madness - by passing the ball slightly behind you, the next man can run onto the ball at pace and build momentum.

American Football is another exampe of the ball travelling back to ultimately go forward. The ball pops back from the line of scrimmage and to the quarterback (provided he isn't sacked) who launches it forward to a receiver who is running at pace.

Taking a leap requires momentum to bridge a gap - that requires us to back up and take a run at our target. Yet in life, in our realtionships we all too often crash away at the same old same old, making little difference, damaging what we are trying so hard not to.

Taking a step back not only allows us to regain momentum, but it often opens up another route forward - passing a ball along a line of players moving at pace, opens up options that are not available by simply crashing into the man in front of you every time you gain possession.

The bible has an interesting insight into the mindset of the man of men: Jesus Christ. It describes his attitude to the incredibly daunting prosepct he faced, after he had been tried and condemned to die - despite his innocence. He knew what was ahead of him and yet he is described as confronting death with a sense of what lay beyond it - "for the experience of knowing what lay beyond his personal loss, for others, he endured the cross, not considering the shame attached to it". On the face of it, the cross looked like a massive backward step and yet three days later and ever since, the impact of what he did is still being felt.

In what seemed like a massive step backwards, paying the ultimate price made it possible for anyone, through faith, to be propelled across a line, they couldn't have crossed alone. It was the ultimate stepping back to reach for the gain line.

The essence of team is about sacrificing self interest for the greater good. The nature of true relationship is about sacrificing self interest for the greater good. Maybe it's worth thinking about taking a step back, shifting a position, to cross your personal gain line.